The Two Pages That Changed Everything

I'd been dealing with symptoms for three years before I found two pages in a book that made everything click.

Migraines that went from 3-4 times a year to 2-3 times a week. Food cravings so intense my psychiatrist put me on a medication usually prescribed for addiction. Weight that packed on effortlessly despite knowing exactly what to do — I'd completed a third of a master's in nutrition, for god's sake. Hot flashes that lasted hours, not minutes. Waking up at 3am almost every night. Rage that came out of nowhere. And a deep, bone-tired exhaustion that no amount of sleep seemed to fix.

My doctor's response? Your labs are normal. Try meditating more. Let's increase your antidepressants.

Perimenopause was mentioned once, then dismissed because my periods were still "mostly normal." I left that appointment feeling gaslit and furious — and also wondering if maybe I really was just failing at managing my own body.

Then I found Dr. Mary Claire Haver's book.

The New Menopause had been showing up in my searches, and when I finally got it from being on the waitlist at my library, I was hopeful but still not sure if this was the right track.

But then I got to the two pages that list every symptom that can occur during perimenopause.

Itchy ears. Migraines. Rage. Depression. Weight gain. Brain fog. Heart palpitations. Joint pain. Sleep disruption. Anxiety. Low libido. Tinnitus. Burning mouth. The list went on.

I sat there having a full mind-blowing-aha-wtf moment. This wasn't a handful of symptoms. This was a full-body experience that no one had ever explained to me — or any woman in my family — not doctors, not health class, not even my past experience working in the medical field.

Every weird thing I'd been experiencing? On those two pages.

What I did next

I finished the book in a day. Then I put myself on the library waitlist for every other menopause and perimenopause book written by a medical professional I could find.

I learned that bio-identical hormone replacement therapy wasn't the dangerous thing I'd been told it was in the early 2000s. That the research had evolved. That HRT could not only help with symptoms but potentially reduce my risk of other conditions down the road.

Within a week, I'd found an online provider, completed the consultation, and had personalized HRT prescriptions in my mailbox.

The first night, I slept four uninterrupted hours. It doesn't sound like much, but after months of tossing and turning, trying everything and still sweating, it felt like a miracle.

Where I am now

I've been on HRT for about a year and a half. Hot flashes are mostly gone. The rage has vanished. I've weaned off the preventive migraine medication I thought I'd need forever. I still struggle with sleep, but not with that same panicked energy.

I'm not saying HRT is the answer for everyone — I'm saying those two pages gave me the information I needed to advocate for myself. To stop accepting "your labs are normal" as the end of the conversation.

You're not crazy. You're not failing. You're probably just in perimenopause, and no one told you what that actually means.

Welcome to the 3am club. Grab a book. We're in this together.

Want the full story — the surgery, the GLP-1 debate, the 3am wake-ups? Read more about my journey here.

If you're just starting to figure this out

Here's where I'd begin: